Medicated Thoughts 3
Aug. 11th, 2020 01:15 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mesotablarI have been watching and listening to quite a bit of true crime shows and podcasts recently. Mostly just because it is there and other people seem to be consuming it too which means more articles pointing me at it and it is higher on entertainment rating lists. One common theme that pops up fairly frequently at least in serial killers and cult leaders is repressed sexuality. Why repressed? well parents and society was and is super harsh on stuff they don't like. It just so happens that homophobic male-fixated male serial killers get shows made about them. Lots of shows.
Repressing things does warp you inside. I thought I was broken for over a decade because I negatively reacted to dates and I didn't actively seek them out. I am SURE that being aromantic but not knowing what aromantic is did contribute to low self esteem and my sense of belonging and community. If I lived in a more dictatorial society (Aka my family 90 years ago) I would have been married off at 19, and even as a theoretical I have no idea how I would have survived....though at least I can take comfort in the fact that with my health I wouldn't have lived to 16. How warped is that? I find it comforting that theoretical me would never have been married. But to know of Aromanticism and be told it is bad and wrong?
I wonder how many people broke under the strain of internalised hate, of feeling isolated, of feeling wrong.
I wonder how many people would make different choices if they knew about Aromanticism and Asexuality.
I wonder how many domestic violence victims and survivors are aromantic or asexual.
I wonder how many domestic violence perpetrators are aromantic or asexual.
I wonder how many pick-up artists are aromantic or asexual.
I wonder how many incels are aromantic or asexual.
Repressing things does warp you inside. I thought I was broken for over a decade because I negatively reacted to dates and I didn't actively seek them out. I am SURE that being aromantic but not knowing what aromantic is did contribute to low self esteem and my sense of belonging and community. If I lived in a more dictatorial society (Aka my family 90 years ago) I would have been married off at 19, and even as a theoretical I have no idea how I would have survived....though at least I can take comfort in the fact that with my health I wouldn't have lived to 16. How warped is that? I find it comforting that theoretical me would never have been married. But to know of Aromanticism and be told it is bad and wrong?
I wonder how many people broke under the strain of internalised hate, of feeling isolated, of feeling wrong.
I wonder how many people would make different choices if they knew about Aromanticism and Asexuality.
I wonder how many domestic violence victims and survivors are aromantic or asexual.
I wonder how many domestic violence perpetrators are aromantic or asexual.
I wonder how many pick-up artists are aromantic or asexual.
I wonder how many incels are aromantic or asexual.
