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mesotablarI very recently got into a discussion regarding the Split Attraction Model (SAM)
(Here if you are interested in seeing it)
Sure, I had used SAM to help me work out my orientation labels but does that mean I still use SAM? what does non-SAM even mean? I got more confused and hoped no one would ask me whether I use SAM or non-SAM. Well, someone asked. I think I tied myself up in words trying to answer so I am going to try and sort things out with pictures!
The Basics: The Split Attraction Model (SAM) is the term we use to refer to the concept that a person may feel many attractions and they may not all be similar. (Using the word 'may' to also include a negative option or possibility of an absence of attraction.)
As a metaphor the idea of SAM works as a prism splitting the white light of our experiences into a colourful rainbow of different and intermingling attractions.
Basic non-SAM: Some people might say they are non-SAM because they don't find it useful, they dislike it or they feel to use it artificially divides their experience in ways they don't agree with. There are probably many other reasons but the most important lesson of this is that not everyone agrees with and uses SAM.
But what about my experience? Well I used SAM to help me figure out that I feel an absence of romantic attraction and what sort of sexual and sensual attraction I experience. That was using SAM in hindsight, going over particular events that happened years before, a 'historical' use of SAM. But do I use SAM on a day to day basis? No. My life is much more defined by an absence of attraction (of any sort) rather than an experience of different attractions. And I do not know how you can differentiate between multiple absences.
(If you didn't know, that flag is the Apressexual pride flag)
I also consciously made the choice to stop looking into other attractions once I had those 3 labels because I don't particularly want to dissect and examine any other sort of attraction I may have. So I used SAM for part and rejected SAM for another part. (basically I think my aesthetic attraction is like the basement of an abandoned building, I don't want to consciously know what is crawling around down there. Ignorance is bliss). Ultimately I found SAM useful for a partial and historical use. I find the overall idea of SAM useful, but I don't really apply it to my continued experiences of life, but I still regularly use orientation labels I found only through using SAM.
Maybe the only way I can explain myself is as a SAM-favourable semi-incidental SAM user who experiences most of life as conceptually non-SAM?
Whatever. I think the concept of SAM is cool. What is not cool is people who limit SAM to only acknowledge sexual and romantic attraction and believe that you have to have an orientation for both of those. People are diverse and we have to respect that! Don't assume people use SAM or not, don't assume they will have a yes/no answer if you ask (I certainly don't!)
Edit Addition: I now know thanks to the discussion on Arocalypse that this understanding is not the original but I feel it is probably the most useful even if it is problematic. SAM is a useful coarse or starter tool for some people, but does not encompass many subtleties for which finer tools, concepts or terms are needed.
(Here if you are interested in seeing it)
Sure, I had used SAM to help me work out my orientation labels but does that mean I still use SAM? what does non-SAM even mean? I got more confused and hoped no one would ask me whether I use SAM or non-SAM. Well, someone asked. I think I tied myself up in words trying to answer so I am going to try and sort things out with pictures!
The Basics: The Split Attraction Model (SAM) is the term we use to refer to the concept that a person may feel many attractions and they may not all be similar. (Using the word 'may' to also include a negative option or possibility of an absence of attraction.)
As a metaphor the idea of SAM works as a prism splitting the white light of our experiences into a colourful rainbow of different and intermingling attractions.
Basic non-SAM: Some people might say they are non-SAM because they don't find it useful, they dislike it or they feel to use it artificially divides their experience in ways they don't agree with. There are probably many other reasons but the most important lesson of this is that not everyone agrees with and uses SAM.
But what about my experience? Well I used SAM to help me figure out that I feel an absence of romantic attraction and what sort of sexual and sensual attraction I experience. That was using SAM in hindsight, going over particular events that happened years before, a 'historical' use of SAM. But do I use SAM on a day to day basis? No. My life is much more defined by an absence of attraction (of any sort) rather than an experience of different attractions. And I do not know how you can differentiate between multiple absences.
(If you didn't know, that flag is the Apressexual pride flag)
I also consciously made the choice to stop looking into other attractions once I had those 3 labels because I don't particularly want to dissect and examine any other sort of attraction I may have. So I used SAM for part and rejected SAM for another part. (basically I think my aesthetic attraction is like the basement of an abandoned building, I don't want to consciously know what is crawling around down there. Ignorance is bliss). Ultimately I found SAM useful for a partial and historical use. I find the overall idea of SAM useful, but I don't really apply it to my continued experiences of life, but I still regularly use orientation labels I found only through using SAM.
Maybe the only way I can explain myself is as a SAM-favourable semi-incidental SAM user who experiences most of life as conceptually non-SAM?
Whatever. I think the concept of SAM is cool. What is not cool is people who limit SAM to only acknowledge sexual and romantic attraction and believe that you have to have an orientation for both of those. People are diverse and we have to respect that! Don't assume people use SAM or not, don't assume they will have a yes/no answer if you ask (I certainly don't!)
Edit Addition: I now know thanks to the discussion on Arocalypse that this understanding is not the original but I feel it is probably the most useful even if it is problematic. SAM is a useful coarse or starter tool for some people, but does not encompass many subtleties for which finer tools, concepts or terms are needed.
