Reaction Scale
Apr. 21st, 2020 11:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mesotablarDiscussion of romance repulsion is a regular feature in aromantic spaces. Who has it. What triggers it. What it feels like. Can you get over it. Does it get worse.How sick has it made you. Lots and lots of talk.
But
Everyone is different, and so all of this 'repulsion' is different, in symptoms but also in strength. This can be an issue because many times we are asked to compare it to something else, something the listener can relate to.
In an asexual space I came across one person advocating for the use of the word 'appreciation' to be used as a descriptor for weaker-than-attraction feelings. Aversion was proposed as the weaker-than-repulsion equivalent. I don't expect these words to be standardised to mean the same thing for everyone, but rather it would be useful for people to use as an internal scale so they may more clearly express their feelings or reactions. I would love if people would begin using these more scaled terms when/if applicable.
Attraction > Appreciation > Neutral > Aversion > Repulsion
Attraction: I don't know what attracted me to the people I was attracted to. There is no common theme.
Appreciation: I like suits, so I am more likely to notice a man in a suit (and appreciate it)
Neutral: Holding hands. I don't care if other people do it. I don't care if I do it with someone else. I see it as a connection thing as well as a romantic thing (a romantic thing which doesn't bother me)
Aversion: People making out in public. I will move out of hearing distance and then ignore them. It bothers me but not very much if I can't hear the lip smacking.
Repulsion: Baby talk. This makes me so sick. My skin crawls and my respect for them goes way down. Once I even ended up throwing up.
But
Everyone is different, and so all of this 'repulsion' is different, in symptoms but also in strength. This can be an issue because many times we are asked to compare it to something else, something the listener can relate to.
In an asexual space I came across one person advocating for the use of the word 'appreciation' to be used as a descriptor for weaker-than-attraction feelings. Aversion was proposed as the weaker-than-repulsion equivalent. I don't expect these words to be standardised to mean the same thing for everyone, but rather it would be useful for people to use as an internal scale so they may more clearly express their feelings or reactions. I would love if people would begin using these more scaled terms when/if applicable.
Attraction > Appreciation > Neutral > Aversion > Repulsion
Attraction: I don't know what attracted me to the people I was attracted to. There is no common theme.
Appreciation: I like suits, so I am more likely to notice a man in a suit (and appreciate it)
Neutral: Holding hands. I don't care if other people do it. I don't care if I do it with someone else. I see it as a connection thing as well as a romantic thing (a romantic thing which doesn't bother me)
Aversion: People making out in public. I will move out of hearing distance and then ignore them. It bothers me but not very much if I can't hear the lip smacking.
Repulsion: Baby talk. This makes me so sick. My skin crawls and my respect for them goes way down. Once I even ended up throwing up.
