Right now. This moment.
Mar. 28th, 2019 03:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mesotablarWe Don't ask to live.
We don't ask to die.
All we ask
is that we are loved
somewhere in-between.
I feel like I am being pushed and pulled. Cut and shoved. But not going anywhere. Like an animal in a snare. Stuck.
I'm not sure if I'm sad or not. I'm not sure if I am angry or not. Sometimes I am scared, but not when I am alone. I don't want to do things, I don't want to accept them because that means they are real.
Three magpies just sat in the wisteria and thanked me for making the ground wet by warbling in chorus. I watch them display aggressively at the Kookaburra, who takes no notice. I watch the crow sneak around avoiding the rest. I watch the wattle birds watch everything. I watch my grandmother die.
Cancer sucks and dying 'no pain' is a lie.
We don't ask to die.
All we ask
is that we are loved
somewhere in-between.
I feel like I am being pushed and pulled. Cut and shoved. But not going anywhere. Like an animal in a snare. Stuck.
I'm not sure if I'm sad or not. I'm not sure if I am angry or not. Sometimes I am scared, but not when I am alone. I don't want to do things, I don't want to accept them because that means they are real.
Three magpies just sat in the wisteria and thanked me for making the ground wet by warbling in chorus. I watch them display aggressively at the Kookaburra, who takes no notice. I watch the crow sneak around avoiding the rest. I watch the wattle birds watch everything. I watch my grandmother die.
Cancer sucks and dying 'no pain' is a lie.